There Is Something You Don’t Know

87bc9a8fce43c4a7adb2164959dcecf7There are just some things that some people can never understand.  If you have never dealt with a certain depth of an emotion or mental illness you should never be one to judge someone who is going through it.  Especially if the person is talking about, has attempted or has committed suicide.

I do understand and nothing about that feeling is easy.

13reasons13 Reasons Why is a new television show that is available to watch on Netflix (depicted from the best selling book).  I have been trying to avoid the show because I know the subject matter and it makes me emotional.  But before I went in to watch the show for some strange reason I looked at the reviews — which is something I normally don’t do because I know that we all have our own ideas of what is entertaining.

There was one thing that I saw that really got on my nerves and there was more than one person who stated it — that the show was a waste of time because though it was just romanticizing suicide and encouraging it more.  Though the book and the show are different, just as in any book to movie case, the biggest message is that there are limits that push people.  It does not have to be just one occasion to get you over the sad edge but that it can be a mountain.

The thing that bothers me the most is when people believe (strongly) that those who commit suicide that they are selfish.  Do you actually understand what that feels like?


selfish: lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit and pleasure.

It isn’t easy to make that choice.  Have you ever read a suicide note?  Do you not feel the pain that they are trying to get you to understand they were going through?  I’m going to assume that you don’t.

Here are just some scenarios that I have heard of people choosing to take their own life

  • An abused child.  One that feels that they aren’t loved.  That they cannot tell anyone.  That they aren’t worth it because they are treated so poorly.  Abuse does not just have to be physical either.
  • A bullied person.  They don’t tell anyone because most adults feel like ‘every teen goes through it’ or if they say anything the bullying gets worst because they are considered weak and/or a tattle-tell.

Some people would say that these cases were drastic.  To you, maybe, but this is some people’s everyday life.

What about those who seemingly have a perfect life, what you see is not always the case. Mental illness may be the case.  There are millions are people battling mental illness, mostly in secret.  It is not something that is easy to take on.  You may tell those around you some of the things that you are dealing with, but their may be the feeling that they still don’t understand.

Yes, you can go to see a psychotherapist or psychiatrist to help with treatment.  They can prescribe an antidepressant to help deal but who says that that always works.


It strongly bothers me for people to think that people are selfish when the hardest choice you will ever make in your life is to take your own life.

I was so tired of being bullied and told that it will be okay and it never got better.

No one loved me, even the people that were supposed to love me.

Everyday I woke up feeling like a failure.  Looking at everything that I couldn’t do.  Watching the world move ahead of me while I stood still or fell backwards.

There was so much going on inside my head.  I tried to tell you, I tried to tell someone.  No one would help and I didn’t know what to do.

The voices told me to do it.

If I just do this it will all stop.  All the bad that I bring to you all won’t happen if I’m not here.

The medicine didn’t help.  The sadness didn’t go away.  I tried to be happy, I really did.  

You told me to die.  Now, I’m going to.

These are just some, a very small amount of things I have heard that people have said.  There are many of thoughts that run through the mind of someone making that choice.  It is never about being selfish and taking my life so that I have control.  Hello! I give up everything at the moment; everyone and everything that I love.  I give up my life.  I give up.

There is a reason that we are taught that we all think differently.  Our brains do not function the same for many of reasons.  I am asking you to please be considerate with your words when you talk about or to someone who is dealing with a mental illness or feeling or attempted suicide.  It’s about respect even if you don’t understand.



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